Discus Systems PLC - IT Support Company in Birmingham West midlands
0800 880 3360
 
Posted by Graham Keen on Tue 30th Aug 2011



 

Discus Systems plc

 

 

The Discus Diviner

August 2011 

 

Welcome to the August edition of The Discus Diviner.

 

Firstly, I would like to thank all of you who took the time to participate in our survey to win a Kindle 3G. We had a great response, and  quite a few of you gave the correct answer to the question Peter Blake designed the cover for which LP, released in 1967?

 

The answer is Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band by the Beatles.
 

Congratulations to Nichola Edden of Bigwood who will receive her Kindle 3G shortly. 

  

Well, the school holidays are upon us, and around here the roads are quiet. A good time for recharging those batteries and indulging in a little reflection on recent times. This month we will focus on three areas - newly incorporated companies, companies moving premises and solicitors.

 

Not forgetting the The IT Support Guy, who finds himself with a VOIP problem.  

 

 

 

The IT Support Guy

  

'It don't work. Bloody waste of money.' Alfie Dance pulls a face at the telephone handset and flicks two fingers.

A lump swells in Victor's throat. Why does he always bear the brunt when one of their customers vents his spleen over new technology? Alfie should never have bought the phone system in the first place. The man is a confirmed technophobe, for God's sake.

When Victor lands back at the office, he'll have a few words to say to Teflon Ted, the company's overly smooth VOIP salesman.

'There shouldn't be a problem, Mr Dance. We use the same system in our office.'

'Hmm. No wonder I can never get through.'

Victor sucks in his breath and makes a mental note to have a word with Motormouth Marilyn, the celeb-obsessed receptionist.

Alfie pokes a stubby finger in Victor's chest. 'I should have stuck with Skype like our Marvin said.'

Victor wishes he had a quid for every time he hears that. Skype is to VOIP as Kleenex is to tissues. Tarred with the same brush. But if Marvin made the remark then it was worth noting. After all, he is Alfie's six-year-old grandson and technical advisor.

Shrugging his shoulders, Victor decides it isn't worth the argument. He is there to do his job, that's all, and that doesn't involve picking up the toys after one of Alfie's tantrums. He boots up his laptop, digs out the config data for Alfie's business.

One server. Five PCs. Five phone extensions. 1 ADSL line. Hmm.

He picks up the phone on Alfie's reception and calls the office.

After eight rings the gravelly tones of Motormouth rumble down the line. 'H . . . l . . . o . . . Mid . . . s . . . Systems, how ca . . . hel . . . ou?'

Oh, dear.

'Granddad! Granddad!' screams Marvin, bursting into reception. 'Come and see this! I've just taken out the Death Knight in World of Warcraft!'

Victor feels as if he's been jabbed with a cattle prod. 'Er, where are you playing that?' he says.

'On Granddad's PC.'

'Which is where?'

'In his office, stupid.'

Victor smiles to himself. He would give anything to be a fly on the wall when Teflon tries to convince Alfie to buy a second, VOIP-dedicated ADSL line.

Just as he should have done in the first place.

 

 

NEXT MONTH:  Victor takes a well-earned holiday

 

 

 

 

 

Discus staff attain VCP5 Qualification

  

Dayle Biddulph and Andrew Guy have recently attained VCP5 qualification  - the latest incarnation of VMWare's technical certification. Already certified to VCP4, the achievement of this qualification means that they are up there among the very best with regard to virtualization skills. Well done!

 

 

 

 

Is your business newly incorporated?

 

 If it is, your head will be spinning with the hundred and one things you have to do. So why make things more complicated by wrestling with your IT? What might start out as  a server, a few PCs and a bit of cabling can rapidly escalate into a logistical nightmare, involving multiple suppliers. That's why we offer our Flying Start service - one party to deal with. Let us take away the stress of setting up your IT. Less time, less trouble, giving you time to deal with other things.

For further information email u2us@discus.co.uk  or for an informal discussion contact Terry or Martyn on 0800 880 3360

 

 

 

 

Are you moving premises? 

 

Moving office is easy, isn't it? Well, not always . . .

We should know, having moved to brand new premises twelve months ago. Fortunately we managed our own move so we knew what to expect.

You might not.

So why not take advantage of Flying Start? We can help you to make your move as quickly and  painlessly as possible.

 

For further information email u2us@discus.co.uk  or for an informal discussion contact Terry or Martyn on 0800 880 3360

 

 

 

Legal business? Not long to go . . .  

 

Are you worried about the day you will encounter an Alternative Business Structure? Depending upon the size and nature of your operation, it may not bother you at all. But for many of the 580 odd  legal businesses in the West Midlands, this will be a time for concern.  

No doubt you will be considering your strategy. Go fixed fee? Merge? Specialise? Sorry, but we can't help you with those. What we can help you with is a way to reduce your telephony costs and provide a better service to your clients by using Discus Systems' Hosted Telephony. 

 

Interested? Then please email u2us@discus.co.uk  or for an informal discussion contact Terry or Martyn on 0800 880 3360

  

 

 

 

 

Thank you for reading August's  issue of The Discus Diviner.

 

Please do not hesitate to contact me should you have any comments or criticisms.

 

Sincerely,

 

   

 

 

Terry Biddulph

Managing Director

Discus Systems plc 

In This Issue

The IT Support Guy

Discus staff attain VCP5 Qualification

Is your business newly incorporated?

Is your business moving premises?

Legal business? Not long to go . . .

Damien's Tips 'n Tricks

The Hampton Joker

 

 

Quick Links

  

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Damien's Tips 'n Tricks 

Damian

Keyboard Tricks in MS Word:   

 

Insert the date: The Alt+Shift+D combination will enter date quickly into a document.

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Quickly add annotations (also called "comments"):

This shortcut works even if you don't already have the Microsoft Word reviewing Pane open: hit Ctrl+Alt+M to insert an annotation (comment) into a document.

*******************

 

Use the built-in thesaurus:

The Shift+F7 combination will look up a highlighted word in the thesaurus sidebar in Microsoft Word.

 

The Hampton Joker 

 

The Joker: "I demand satisfaction!"

Tech Support: "Well, I'm here to try and help you. What kind of problem are you having?"

The Joker: "It's not my problem! The computer I bought six weeks ago just won't work! I can't do a damned thing with it!"

Tech Support: "I see. Do you mean it won't even switch on, or is it something else?"

The Joker: "Don't try to sandbag me! I know my rights!"

Tech Support: "Sir, could you explain the problem you are having so I can help you with it?"

The Joker: I've called them all, BT, Talktalk, Orange, and none of them are any good."

Tech Support: "OK, so are you saying that you're having problems getting on-line?"

The Joker: "Look, it doesn't work! I want satisfaction!"

Tech Support: "OK, well I need to ask you some questions to help you with the problem."

The Joker: "Fine, but I doubt you're going to fix it."

Tech Support: "Is your router installed and connected to the computer?"

The Joker: "How would I know if it's connected?"

Tech Support: (describes how the back of the machine looks and how the router connects.)

The Joker: "Yes, that's just how mine looks, and it doesn't work, so just accept that it's broken!"

Tech Support: "Which cable did you connect the router to the phone line with, sir?"

The Joker: "I have to connect to the phone line?" 

 

  

Discus Systems -  solving computer problems throughout the West Midlands,

covering Birmingham, Coventry, Solihull, Sutton Coldfield, Lichfield, Tamworth,

Wolverhampton, Dudley, Bromsgrove and Redditch.

 

 

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