As the Bill Gates Foundation continued towards its stated aim of providing vaccinations for every child on the planet, computer users everywhere have admitted that even that might not be worth twenty years of tear-inducing computer frustration.
The Gates foundation has pledged $1 billion towards vaccinating the world’s children, raising the eyebrows of every Microsoft user on the planet.
Analysts have said that the billions extracted from computer users across the world could perhaps have been spent making products that didn’t fall over every ten bloody minutes.
Long time Microsoft user Dave Michaels told us, “I get it, I really do. He’s doing a really nice thing with all the money he’s made from people like me.”
“But then I think back to that time in 1998 when I missed my cousin’s wedding because Word crashed on a Friday afternoon, losing all my work, and I had to come in at the weekend to do it all again – and to be honest I’m not sure helping a few million kids stay alive is worth that.”
“There was a free bar.”
Another life-long Microsoft user told us, “I like kids as much as the next man, but remember that these are kids on the other side of the world, and Excel has been a pain in my arse for well over ten years – so I’m kinda torn on the subject.”
“It’s not even like he thanked us. He could have said ‘your computer died so this child could live’ – at least we might have understood that.”
“But I wouldn’t ask the opinion of anyone who paid cash money for Windows Vista, I think they’d happily see an entire continent full of corpses for the promise of never seeing the blue screen of death ever again.”
“I think the choice between a cheap product which works, but which leaves a few dead babies in its wake, and an expensive product that doesn’t work but saves a few kids along the way, would give the modern IT department several minutes of tough deliberation.”
“Well, at least until the latest budget cuts came along, anyway.”